I don’t usually listen in on other people’s phone conversations, but today I couldn’t help but overhear my coworker laughing, and chatting up the person on the other end of the line who had just called into our office. She’s like that. One of those people that treats you like you matter regardless of how busy she is. She remembers details and things like a person’s birthday or when their kids are sick. And, as I’m listening, I’m thinking that person on the other end is grateful because who doesn’t like to be valued like that?

I remembered one of my favorite moments this year at the Global Leadership Summit happened in session #5 with John Maxwell. He just up and said:

“Are you adding value to people or are you wanting people to add value to you?”

The room was quiet because he had obviously struck a nerve with several people. When we look at that through the lens of how we go about making guests feel welcome in our church, we have to ask ourselves, “Is our primary motive in creating a welcoming process to add value to our church or to add value to the other person?” Wanting to help someone who doesn’t have a church home find one isn’t a bad thing and wanting our church to grow in the process isn’t a bad thing either. The problem lies in that being our primary motivation.

We may put a lot of effort into welcoming someone into our church this Christmas and they may never come back.

What we hope though is that they leave feeling better than when they came and that because of that experience it stirs in them a desire to explore a relationship with Christ.

As Christmas weekend approaches and your church prepares to have more services, more people, more kids, more everything, there are plenty of things you can do to make people feel welcome. For some of those practical ideas you can go here.

But if you’re going to get one thing right this weekend, let it be how you add value to the people that walk through your doors. Take time to talk with people even when you’re busy. Train your volunteers to go above and beyond. In fact, if your welcome process doesn’t include margin for connecting with people then it’s not really a welcoming process; it’s just a process.

At the end of the day…when the lights go down and the doors close…ask yourself,

“Did I add value to someone’s life today?”

Maxwell goes on to say,

“Everything worthwhile is uphill. Everything.”

This weekend, wherever you are, ask God to reveal to you where he wants you to do this. It could be the person sitting in your pew by themselves or the person you’re thinking about inviting to church this weekend.

Make someone feel significant this Christmas, because as Maxwell says,

“Significance is not about me, it’s about others. Significance is all uphill, but there is a downhill habit that fights against significance and that is selfishness.”

If you’re still looking for a way to add value during this season, start with adding it to someone else’s life first. Because adding value to a person is an uphill habit, but the side effects are worth it.

Have you ever tried so hard to accomplish something (like seeding the lawn…or putting together that chair from IKEA with a million little pieces), but you end up with a bigger mess than when you started? Sometimes getting guests to return to your church is like that. You did all the right things (you think) to make a first-time guest feel welcome. So, why didn’t they come back? Sometimes it has nothing to do with the church itself. Some people just aren’t ready to come back to church. Sometimes though, they are ready, but what they experience when they get there isn’t what they hoped for.

Each week, we read through feedback from first-time guests on their church experiences. Here are some common themes as to why a guest doesn’t return.

Unwelcoming Congregation
Picture walking into a church you have never visited before. There are groups of people gathered talking and visiting with one another….and no one (outside of the greeter who handed you your bulletin) speaks to you.  While that may not be intentional on the church’s part, it’s happening…a lot.

Being Too Friendly
This might strike some as odd, but it’s true. There’s a fine line in being welcoming and being too friendly. While your first-time guests don’t want to be ignored, they most likely won’t be up for playing a game of 20 questions either. One church guest had this to say about their visit:

I’m sure this church had the best intentions in making this guest feel welcome, but in the end it was too much and drove the guest away.

Nothing for Kids
This seems pretty obvious, but there are still many churches out there that do not offer any form of ministry for kids. If a family visits your church only to find out that there is nothing offered in the way of discipleship for their kids, they most likely won’t be back. If your kids’ ministry is non-existent or exists, but could use some work, check out our blog from last week.

No Information
Your church may offer a lot of ministry opportunities, but how are you relaying that information to someone new? We routinely visit church websites and find little to no information on what the church offers outside of Sunday morning. And, when the website does mention these things, it often includes “internal speak” that a guest is not going to understand. Your website IS the front door for your church and should be geared towards the people you are trying to reach, not the people who are already there.

An Aging Congregation

We see this most often with young adults. The church can be really welcoming, but at the end of the day if there aren’t people attending they can identify and do life with they will most likely move on. You may not be able to change the age diversity in your church overnight, but intentional outreach and ministries geared towards a younger generation will help, and demonstrates your church’s openness to connecting with that demographic.

Mediocre Church
This one is probably going to bother some people, but it has to be said. Whether we are talking about outreach, the teaching, worship music, hospitality, cleanliness, punctuality, etc., we should be doing it in truth and with excellence.

We write this not to condemn, but to challenge your church to be better. Every church has something they can improve on….even the really great ones.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about the challenges of getting her kids to church. This friend is the mom of two young kids and one on the way. She makes the parenting thing look pretty simple most of the time, but her kids get bored at church and sometimes put up enough of a struggle on Sunday mornings that the whole family skips church altogether because it’s just easier. Continue reading →

Easter is the highest attended service of the year which means more people are likely to visit your church on this day than any other. 

So, what are you doing to prepare? Here are some quick ideas that you can implement in the short time we have left:

1. The Front Door– The website is usually a person’s first point of contact. Scan your site and make sure worship times are easy to find. Directions and what to expect (especially for families) should be clear. Have an “I’m New” or “First-Time at [church name]” page where guests can get the basics about their first visit.
2. Parking Ministry – With more guests, there’s more traffic, and a need for more places to park.  Hospitality begins in the parking lot and our mystery guests rate their overall experience higher in churches with parking ministries.
3. More Hands on Deck – Increase your capacity for hospitality by adding more volunteers. If you average 5-10 guests a month, plan on seeing at least triple that at your Easter services, many of which will be families with kids.

Greeting – Add more greeters and a ‘friendly patrol’ to welcome new faces and start conversations before and AFTER the service.

Seating – Plan for overflow. In the weeks leading up to Easter, ask members to prepare by leaving the back and end seats open for guests. Encourage them to attend earlier services since guests are more likely to attend a later service on their first visit. Add more seating and plan to add even more should it become necessary.

Kids Ministry – Many of those new faces you see will be families who won’t know what you offer for kids or where they should take them. That means Kids Ministry needs to ramp up as well to help check kids in, answer questions, and guide families to their destinations.

4. Information – When a guest has the information they need to take next steps, they’re more likely to take them.

Guest Card – Upon arrival, give them the basics. In the back of every seat or inside every bulletin have a guest card that explains where the restrooms, welcome desk, and kid’s ministry are located.

Connect card – Give them a way to leave their contact information and how to leave it. Calling it a “connect card” best communicates why you are asking for this information – to connect with them! Some churches will ask guests to turn it in at the welcome center and receive a gift. Other churches donate to a local charity for each one they receive.

Gift and Ministry Information – Hospitality is a ministry and needs to be treated as such. A gift thanking guests for coming and a well-designed brochure that tells more about the church’s ministries and how to get plugged in leaves a guest feeling important and informed.

Tell them what’s coming next week – A church I attended always followed Easter up with the series “I have a friend who struggles with….[divorce, pornography, etc.]” Attendance always spiked because of the interest these relevant topics would generate.

5. Plan your follow up and see it through –  Too many guests in our research report leaving their contact information and never receiving follow up. I cringe every time I read about it. Nothing says that you’re not actually interested the guest coming back than neglecting to follow up with them. The key to follow up is to be intentional about it and don’t wait.

Following up is one of the most important things you can do.

• 24 hours: Send an email, text, or make a phone call thanking them for coming.
• 96 hours: Mail a note inviting them back and a reminder about the upcoming message series.

Easter is important, but you can use these ideas for every service. Be intentional about planning: from the initial welcome through the follow up.

What are some other ideas that you’ve seen implemented before?